


Worth the Effort

by evil_giraffe



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evil_giraffe/pseuds/evil_giraffe
Summary: An act of vandalism leads to unexpected revelations.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 44
Kudos: 233





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Begins prior to 7x07. Will address the events of 7x07 and 7x08 while also diverging from canon.
> 
> Someday I might write something angst-free, but today is not that day...

It’s bright and early on Saturday morning but Steve has already been for a swim and a run, followed by a quick shower. He’s now eating breakfast and contemplating where he wants to start with the seemingly endless list of chores he’s fallen behind on. Sadly he doesn’t have anything more exciting planned for the day. So when his phone rings and he sees that it’s Danny calling, Steve immediately hopes his partner is about to rescue him from the tedium he’s facing.

Still, given that Danny is not at all a morning person, Steve decides to answer with a slightly obnoxious, “Good morning, sunshine.”

“Hey,” Danny greets him, and even from just that single word, it’s obvious that he’s stressed. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all. What’s up?”

Danny pauses for a moment. “Someone vandalized my car. Can you come over and get it out of here? Rachel is dropping the kids off in about an hour and I don’t want them to see it.”

“I’ll be right there,” Steve promises, already halfway to the door. “Have you called it in?”

Danny sighs. “It’s just a bit of spray paint, probably the handiwork of some dumb kid. I figure we can take care of it without bothering HPD. If it wasn’t for the kids I’d be handling it myself.”

“Okay,” Steve says a little skeptically, as he gets into his truck and sets off. There’s definitely something not quite right about this scenario. “I’m on the way.”

“Thank you,” Danny responds, before quickly hanging up.

When Steve pulls up outside Danny’s house, he’s momentarily frozen in place, staring in furious disbelief at the word _‘FAGGOT’_ emblazoned in bright orange on the side of the Camaro. It also appears to have been repeated on the garage door, but Danny and his neighbor Mrs Lee are in the process of painting over that one.

Danny glances over and starts heading towards the truck. Steve gets out and meets him halfway, automatically taking the keys which Danny wordlessly hands to him. But if his partner thinks he’s just going to let this go, he’s sorely mistaken. Steve does however pause to return the friendly smile and wave he gets from Mrs Lee.

With social niceties out of the way, Steve can’t hold back his anger any longer. “What the hell, Danny?” he begins, fighting to keep his voice at a reasonable volume. “Please tell me you at least took pictures of that before you started removing the evidence. Even though they got the wrong house, this is a hate crime.”

“Of course I took pictures.” Danny sounds exhausted and resigned, not at all irate as Steve might have expected. “But I still don’t want to involve HPD unless it happens again. Also, just for the record, they didn’t get the wrong house.”

Steve seems to have forgotten how to breathe for a worrying moment, as he stares at Danny incredulously. You can’t just casually drop a bomb like that on a guy with no warning and expect him to be fine.

“Steve, please,” Danny says quietly. “Just get the car out of here and get it cleaned up, then come back and spend the rest of the day with me and the kids. We’ll talk later.”

Still too stunned to speak, Steve just nods and does as Danny requested, driving away in the Camaro so Grace and Charlie won’t see it. During his trip to the nearest auto parts store, Steve feels extremely self-conscious and tries to avoid looking at anyone; he doesn’t want to see their reactions to the highly offensive graffiti. When he gets to the store, he hurries inside and asks for help selecting and purchasing the best products to remove spray paint, then heads back out and starts working on it right there in the parking lot.

Try as he might, Steve is unable to completely block out the reactions of passersby, and although most people seem to be horrified and sympathetic, there are definitely some others eyeing him with contempt. A few people kindly stop and offer to help, but Steve declines. They would probably want to talk to him and he’s really not in the mood. Plus, he needs some time to try to process the very strange and distressing turn his day has taken.

Steve is immensely shocked by the revelation that Danny is not completely straight. Sure, he flirts with Steve all the time, but to some extent he does that with everyone, so Steve has never interpreted it as an indication of actual interest. In fact, he’s never noticed anything he would consider to be definitive proof of an attraction to men. Although no doubt Danny would say the same about Steve, and that’s what’s really freaking him out. Now that there’s a very real possibility that his interest is returned, Steve can no longer deny his own attraction to his partner. A traitorous voice in the back of his mind immediately insists that there’s a whole lot more than mere attraction lurking beneath the surface, but he can’t let himself think about that right now.

Even just acknowledging this much to himself is exceedingly difficult, so Steve doesn’t know whether he’ll be able to admit it to Danny. He’s never told anyone that he’s attracted to men, not since he was fifteen years old and his mother caught him kissing another boy. Doris had sat him down and calmly explained how continuing on that path would ruin his life, firstly by preventing him from carrying on the family tradition of military service, breaking his father’s heart in the process, then ultimately condemning Steve to a life of constant scorn, ridicule and discrimination. As a result, Steve had carefully locked away that part of himself and thrown away the key. In all the years since, as far as he knows, he’s never given anyone any reason to suspect the truth. But it feels like ever since he met Danny, his partner has been banging on that secret door inside him and trying to pick the lock. Now he’s possibly just blown the door right off with a grenade.

With the Camaro now good as new, it’s time for Steve to return it, but first he makes a detour to pick up some surveillance equipment. For now he’ll go along with Danny’s desire to keep HPD out of the matter, but if the homophobic vandal shows up again, Steve intends to catch them in the act.

When he arrives back at Danny’s place, the enthusiastic greeting Steve receives from Charlie, and the slightly more restrained but still pleased reception from Grace, instantly makes everything a whole lot better. Spending the day with them is the perfect distraction and for the most part he’s able to push aside his inner turmoil. Danny initially eyes him with some concern but seems to relax once he realizes that Steve is making every effort to behave normally and enjoy this precious time with his favorite people.

Nevertheless, much later in the day, once Charlie has gone to bed, Grace also immediately retreats to her bedroom and shuts the door, claiming she has homework to do, but Steve suspects she might have picked up on the slightly weird atmosphere between Steve and Danny and has decided to give them some space. She’s an exceptionally smart and perceptive girl.

As they settle on the couch, turning to face each other but sitting just out of reach, Danny looks a little nervous. Steve can relate; he genuinely has no idea how this conversation is going to go. Rather than try to question his partner, Steve remains quiet and just gives him an expectant look, waiting for him to explain himself.

Danny takes a deep breath before he speaks. “So, as you already know, I met up with one of my college buddies last night. What I didn’t tell you is that at one point, Chris and I were more than just friends. At the end of the night, he kissed me, right out there on my doorstep, and I let him, just to find out if there was still something between us. Which there isn’t, so he went on his way, no hard feelings.”

Steve frowns as he realizes the implications of this in relation to the attack on the car and the house. “So, basically, your neighbors within sight of the house are the prime suspects.”

“Yes. But I’m begging you, do not go running off to interrogate them all. I have to live with these people, and if this turns out to be a one-off incident, I’m prepared to let it go. Besides, getting some kind of reaction out of me might be exactly what the asshole wants.”

Steve still isn’t entirely happy with this, but he gets where Danny is coming from. “Okay. But I’m crashing on the couch tonight to keep an eye on things.”

“Fine,” Danny agrees quickly. “Thank you.”

They sit in silence for a short time while Steve gathers enough courage to ask quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Danny shrugs. “It hasn’t been a big part of my life. I haven’t been with a guy since college. After seeing a couple of guys get kicked out of Seton Hall, and realizing that the law enforcement community is not exactly known for being accepting, I decided to bury that part of myself. As I had no intention of digging it back up unless I found someone worth all the hassle, there really wasn’t any point bringing it up.”

“I get it,” Steve says. His heart is racing, but it’s now or never. “I did exactly the same thing, only I was fifteen and never made it past kissing.”

“Oh.” Danny looks extremely surprised, but recovers relatively quickly and gives Steve an encouraging smile. “Thank you for trusting me with that. I know that a lifetime of hiding is a hard habit to break.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees shakily. He very deliberately maintains eye contact as he continues, “But maybe I found someone worth the effort.”

Danny’s expression is pure wide-eyed disbelief. Steve impulsively scoots closer and starts leaning in. He’s stopped by Danny’s hand on his chest, not pushing him away but firmly preventing him from getting any nearer.

“Steve, no,” Danny says, while paradoxically gripping Steve’s shirt to stop his immediate attempt to retreat. “I know everything is zero to sixty with you, but I can’t let you do that this time. If we do this, there’s no going back, so I need you to take some time and really think about it.”

“I have thought about it,” Steve complains reflexively.

Danny shakes his head. “For what, a few hours? I saw how shocked you were this morning. I really don’t think you’ve had enough time to fully consider all of the possible ramifications. Not to mention the small matter of Lynn and Melissa.”

Steve can’t hold back an amused snort. “I think we both know neither of us is particularly invested in those relationships.”

“Maybe. Jesus, we should probably let them go even if this thing between us doesn’t go anywhere. They deserve better.”

Steve nods solemnly. Danny has a point there, although Steve’s relationship with Lynn has always been casual so he doesn’t think she’ll be too broken up about it ending. But Melissa might be a different story.

“So we break up with our girlfriends,” Steve says, “and then what? How much time do you think will be enough?”

Danny narrows his eyes at him. “How the hell should I know? As long as it takes for it to become obvious that you’re taking this seriously.”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything,” Steve tells him. Danny is clearly about to object, so he adds, “But it’s possible I haven’t had a chance to think through every aspect of this.”

“Thank you.” Danny suddenly seems to realize he’s still holding on to Steve and abruptly releases him. “Look, as much as I want to be with you, our friendship is extremely important to me, and despite my frequent complaining, I also enjoy our working relationship. Right now, we haven’t done anything that would permanently jeopardize those things, and I need you to know that if you decide you don’t want to pursue this after all, things might get a little awkward for a while, but we’ll be fine in the end. But if we go any further and then you suddenly change your mind, that would be catastrophic. So please, take all the time you need until you’re absolutely certain about what you want. Meanwhile, we carry on as usual.”

Steve takes a moment to consider all of that before responding. “Okay Danny. You’re very important to me too. I swear I’m going to think this over carefully. Whatever happens next, I love you.”

Danny’s eye-roll clearly conveys his opinion on Steve using that particular phrase at this particular time. But Steve isn’t too upset about it, especially when Danny follows it up with, “God knows why, but I love you too, even though you’re an idiot.”

They smile at each other and damn it, resisting the urge to try to kiss Danny again is a hell of a challenge. Danny seems to guess what Steve is thinking, as he suddenly gets up and wanders off, returning with a blanket and a pillow, both of which he hurls directly at Steve’s head. Steve catches them easily. It’s a little early to be turning in for the night, but if Danny feels the need to escape to the safety of his bedroom, Steve isn’t going to comment on it.

“Good night Steve,” Danny calls over his shoulder as he’s leaving.

“Good night Danno.”

Steve sneaks back out to the car to get the equipment he picked up earlier and quietly sets up a couple of motion activated cameras that will transmit to his phone and produce an alert hopefully just loud enough to wake Steve without disturbing anyone else in the household. Although right now he’s feeling too wired to sleep, so he decides to go for a quick run.

While he runs, Steve gets a few alerts from the cameras, but it’s just cats or people passing by. But at least it proves they’re working. Steve is enjoying the fresh air and the chance to clear his head, so he ends up being away from the house a lot longer than he anticipated. When he’s on his way back and just around the corner, he gets another alert. It’s a hooded figure, who pauses in the driveway, clearly looking around to check whether they’re being observed. Steve breaks into a sprint.

As Steve closes the distance, the vandal is apparently too absorbed in what they’re doing to Danny’s car to notice his approach. The first three letters of the hateful word are already done and Steve is overcome with rage. He pounces without warning, grabbing and twisting the wrist of the hand holding the spray can, while using his other hand to slam the vandal’s head against the car, hard enough to stun but without causing serious damage to either person or vehicle. He didn’t think to take his cuffs when he went running, but his captive is currently unable to resist anyway, so Steve just pins them to the car and yanks their hood off, revealing, as Danny suspected, a teenage boy, maybe fifteen or sixteen.

Steve is beginning to feel a tiny amount of remorse for the head injury, until the kid’s confused gaze starts to clear and he sneers at Steve before demanding, “Get your hands off me, you filthy faggot.”

The kid has already dropped the spray can, but Steve twists his wrist a little further just to hear him yelp. He’s not proud of himself for it, and he’s aware that he can’t keep letting the kid provoke him or he’ll be in danger of going too far.

“This is assault, man,” the kid whines.

“I’m Five-0, genius,” Steve informs him. “And you were committing a crime.”

“Gross. I didn’t know they let cocksuckers be cops.”

“Shut up,” Steve growls, while idly wondering whether it would be easier or more difficult to have that particular slur aimed at him if it were actually accurate. Considering the way this kid is getting under his skin, Danny probably had a point when he implied that Steve might not be entirely ready to deal with the harsh reality of being in a relationship with a man.

Apparently the kid has no self-preservation instincts whatsoever, as he continues to try to taunt Steve. “You know your little boyfriend is a cheating slut, right? I saw him with some other guy last night.”

Steve manages to not react. He manhandles the kid so he can hold both of his arms behind his back with one hand while checking for ID and weapons with the other.

“Hey!” the kid wails. “Don’t touch me, you disgusting pervert!”

Steve sighs, having come up empty on his search for ID. Then he hears the front door open behind him.

“Uncle Steve?” Grace asks uncertainly, standing on the doorstep in her pajamas. “What…? Oh my god.”

Shit, Danny is going to kill him. Grace approaches.

“That’s Kyle Johnson,” she informs him. “His family moved in across the street six weeks ago.” Grace stares for a moment at Kyle’s handiwork on Danny’s car before turning to address the kid directly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Grace! Language!” After everything else, Steve shouldn’t be so scandalized by that, but he is.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Steve, but this is just… urgh.” Grace lets out a huff of frustration, having failed to come up with an adequate description. “I’ll go get Dad.”

“Thanks Gracie. I’m sorry you had to see this. Please make sure Charlie doesn’t come out here if he wakes up.”

“Of course,” she says, before disappearing back into the house.

Being confronted by Grace seems to have knocked the wind out of Kyle’s sails; he’s now finally quiet and just staring sullenly at the ground. He stays put when Steve lets go of him, so at least he’s smart enough to know there’s no point in running when they know where he lives.

Danny arrives a couple of minutes later, looking adorably sleep rumpled. After a quick glance at Steve to verify he’s in one piece, he focuses his attention on the delinquent kneeling by his defaced car. “Hi Kyle. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“No, Mr Williams,” Kyle replies meekly, gaze still fixed firmly on the ground.

Steve prods him with his foot. “That’s Detective Williams to you,” he says.

“Detective Williams,” the kid repeats robotically.

Danny tries to give Steve a disapproving look, but Steve can tell he’s actually amused by his antics. “Okay Kyle, listen up, here’s what’s going to happen: you are going to clean up my car under the supervision of my good friend Commander McGarrett here, while I go and have a little chat with your parents. If you behave yourself from now on, we can keep all this off the record, but if we catch you doing anything stupid again, we’re going to make sure your life becomes extremely unpleasant very quickly. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Detective Williams.”

Danny gives Steve a quick smile and then heads off across the street. Steve retrieves the cleaning products from the trunk of the car and hands them over to the sulky teenager, briefly explaining the correct process for removing the spray paint before settling in to watch him work. The task is about halfway done when Danny arrives back, accompanied by a clearly distressed and hastily dressed couple who are presumably Mr and Mrs Johnson.

“I’m so sorry,” Mr Johnson says. “If you’d like to go inside, we’ll stay here and make sure our son finishes this. And of course, we’ll be talking to him about where he got these horrible ideas from and explaining just how wrong they are.”

Steve spends a moment scrutinizing the man to evaluate his sincerity, eventually concluding that he’s telling the truth and not just saying what he thinks they want to hear.

Mrs Johnson appears close to tears as she says, “Thank you so much, Detective, Commander, for allowing us to resolve this amicably.”

“No problem,” Danny says. “Kids make mistakes. As long as he learns his lesson, I don’t see a reason to ruin his life. Now we’re going to take you up on the offer to supervise him and call it a night. Just throw the cleaning supplies in the back of the truck when he’s done.”

With that, the adults all say good night and Steve and Danny head back into the house. Grace is sitting on the couch but immediately jumps up to hug her father.

“Hey,” Danny says gently. “Everything’s fine. It’s all taken care of. Go to bed now sweetheart, okay?”

Grace pulls back enough to look Danny in the eye, and seems satisfied with whatever she sees. “Okay,” she says, smiling when Danny kisses her forehead. “Good night Danno.” She moves over to also give Steve a quick hug. “Good night Uncle Steve.”

They both wish Grace a good night in return, then she leaves the room. Danny turns to face Steve, looking totally exhausted.

“Did you know?” Steve asks. “That it was Kyle?”

“I suspected. I thought I knew the rest of the neighbors well enough to rule them out.”

“But you were going to let him just get away with it? If I hadn’t been here…”

Danny snorts. “I knew as soon as I asked you to come over this morning that you’d insist on staying here tonight. I was really hoping that Kyle wouldn’t be stupid enough to come after me more than once, but I knew you’d catch him if he did. As for letting him get away with it… a lot of the time, people lash out because they’re going though something themselves. He needs help, not punishment. I’m just glad it didn’t turn out to be his parents who taught him that crap. That would have put us in a difficult situation.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “But it was so awful, seeing that word aimed at you. And you should have heard the things Kyle said to me before Grace showed up.”

“I can imagine. I’m well aware of exactly how painful it is, and I doubt it would get any easier with time and repeated exposure. Whether you think you can handle that is one of the many things you need to contemplate before we revisit the idea of altering our relationship.”

“I know.”

Danny gives him a tired smile and steps forward for a brief hug before once again saying good night and heading for his bedroom. Steve is immensely relieved, as he’d wondered whether Danny might avoid touching him altogether until he officially makes a decision regarding their future. But apparently, Danny meant it when he said they would carry on as usual. Steve resolves to also live up to his promise to take this seriously and give the matter the careful consideration it deserves, taking as much time as necessary, until he definitely has no doubts about the direction he wants to take.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if spoilers are even a concern at this point, but just in case: this chapter contains references to events in Steve's past that weren't revealed on the show until 9x10 and 10x13.

The next morning, Steve has breakfast with Danny and the kids but then takes his leave. As it happens, he was already supposed to be spending the day with Lynn, so he’s able to immediately do the honorable thing and break up with her face to face. It’s relatively painless; she doesn’t even ask for a reason. He figures she probably thinks he’s still hung up on Catherine, and he’s not about to disabuse her of that notion. He spends the rest of the day doing all the things he was supposed to get done the day before.

Over the next few days, they’re kept busy at work, but in the quieter moments, Steve finds himself watching Danny and wondering whether the two of them being romantically involved would alter the team dynamics. He honestly doesn’t think it would. Even if they ended up at odds, it would hardly be the first time, and they’ve always had each other’s backs even when things were tense between them. Not to mention the fact that no one batted an eye when he brought Catherine onto the team while they were together.

Due to their conflicting schedules, Danny isn’t able to meet with Melissa any earlier than they were already supposed to see each other, which is Wednesday night. Steve doesn’t hear from him for a worrying amount of time but resists the urge to contact him, even though Danny is flying to New Jersey the next day to support his parents during and after his father’s surgery, so Steve won’t get the chance to check on him in person. Eventually, when he’s considering going to bed even though he’s probably too anxious to sleep, Steve receives a text that says _‘That was not fun. But I’m okay.’_ Given the circumstances, there really is no appropriate response to that, so Steve just bids Danny good night and wishes him a safe trip.

When he gets home from work the next evening, Steve decides to confront an issue that he has previously been avoiding; his woeful lack of knowledge about gay sex. Obviously he’s no blushing virgin, but his level of ignorance in this particular area is slightly embarrassing, although not surprising given that the last time he dared to entertain any such thoughts at all, he was a teenager living in an age where the internet was only in its infancy. Having come to the conclusion that it will be easier to deal with this now that he won’t have to try to look Danny in the eye for another seven days, Steve spends a few hours carrying out some internet searches he definitely wouldn’t want anyone else to know about. The experience is very educational.

He hesitates over the idea of watching gay porn for the first time in his life, before deciding that if he can’t even bring himself to watch certain acts, he can’t really expect himself to be comfortable with participating in them. So he forges ahead, and while he watches, tries to imagine doing the things he sees on the screen with Danny. It quickly becomes apparent that this isn’t something he’s going to need to worry about if he can just make it past the inevitable initial awkwardness.

The next day, as he’s eating dinner alone on a night that had originally been set aside for a date with Lynn, Steve finds himself thinking about that incredibly unpleasant conversation with his mom all those years ago. To be fair to Doris, she had been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing, simply laying out all of the negative consequences without ever going so far as to say that what he was feeling was wrong or unnatural, or that he would burn in hell for it. But of course, for many years after his mother’s supposed death, Steve was frequently surrounded by a lot of people who were more than happy to openly express such views.

In fact, the merciless bullying that Steve endured during his first few months of military school included having homophobic slurs thrown at him on a regular basis, for no other reason than that he had been seen crying over his mother’s death and the additional trauma of losing his home, father and sister shortly afterwards. At one point during that first week, Steve had begun to think that if he was going to get accused of being gay no matter what, he might as well stop trying to hide, and if he couldn’t be in the military anyway, it wouldn’t matter if he stole a car and ran away. But getting caught and being released with only a warning showed that someone cared enough about his future to intervene on his behalf, and so, determined to not let them down, Steve forced himself to return to that toxic environment.

As proud as he is of having served his country, Steve is now painfully aware of the price he has paid in terms of his ability to accept himself. His reactions to Kyle Johnson’s insults are proof enough of that. But he loves Danny, is _in_ love with him, and he now intends to redirect his considerable determination towards learning to let go and to stop caring what random strangers, and even the people he served with, think of him. He’s confident that the only people whose opinions actually matter - his ohana - will be nothing but supportive.

Steve’s evening abruptly takes a very bizarre turn when Catherine calls and then shows up to inform him that his mother is in trouble. His initial instinct is to refuse to help her, but it doesn’t take too long for Cath to persuade him to change his mind. Steve is about to leave Danny a vague message simply stating that something is up and he needs to leave town, when it occurs to him that if he’s going to have any hope of convincing his partner he wants to deepen their relationship, he’s probably going to need to start being a bit more forthcoming with him. So he informs Danny that he’s leaving town with Catherine to rescue Doris from a jam, but still doesn’t disclose the destination. Since he’s departing on a Friday night, he’s hoping to have the situation resolved before the rest of the team even realizes that he’s gone, but nevertheless, he’s not too surprised when they join him in Morocco before they should have even had a chance to realize he was missing.

For a while he doesn’t get much opportunity to think about anything except coming up with a rescue plan, then getting through the chaos, violence, and awkward conversations with his mother that occur during the execution of said plan. When it’s all over and he’s standing on an airstrip talking with Doris, and she claims that she’ll be able to come home after getting Yao Fat squared away, that she might even get a place just down the street, Steve doesn’t believe her for one second.

“Oh, trust me, you are never gonna be able to get rid of me,” she says.

Steve suddenly feels the need to challenge her. “Really?” he asks. “What if I was dating a man? Would that get rid of you?”

Doris is quiet for a long moment before responding, “Oh, Steven, don’t be ridiculous. I’m your mother, I’m going to love you no matter what. You have to know that what I told you back when you were just a child, that never reflected any prejudice on my part, I just wanted you to understand the effect that your choices would have on the course of your life. But you’re certainly old enough now to make an informed decision, and I just want you to be happy.”

Steve really wasn’t expecting that. “Thanks, Ma,” he says with some difficulty.

Doris steps forward to hug him, but then she’s telling him that if he wants to know more about her, there’s a lock-box under the floor at home. She’s his mother and he loves her, but sometimes Steve really wishes that even just once they could have a perfectly normal conversation with each other. Still, they part on relatively good terms.

Next, it’s time to say goodbye to Catherine. Seeing her again has helped to put things in perspective. A part of Steve will always love her, but he thinks he’s finally ready to give up on the perfect little fantasy he’s been hanging on to for years, the thought of a ‘normal’ life, settling down with Cath and having children together. For far too many years, Steve has believed that having a traditional family was the only path to happiness, but now he thinks about how much he loves Grace, Charlie and Joanie, without sharing DNA with any of them, and he realizes it’s not the only way. He takes the picture he’s been keeping in the back of his mind, of walking through his front door to see Catherine holding a baby, and replaces her with Danny. It’s a much more compelling image for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is the absolute certainty that Danny would never just up and leave when Steve least expects it. Receiving confirmation from Catherine that she’s happy doing what she’s doing makes it even easier to let go.

It’s only been a week, but Steve has already made his decision. Now he just needs to wait for Danny to get back from New Jersey.

However, when Danny returns, Steve hesitates to bring the matter up right away. He’s worried that Danny will still think he’s moving too quickly, and while his partner has been gone, Steve has begun to wonder whether Danny himself actually needed some time to think it over. Danny had made it sound like the need to reflect was all on Steve, but Danny has also been concealing his true self from the world for a very long time.

So Steve keeps quiet for a few more days, only to find himself regretting that choice when Danny and Grace unexpectedly end up in mortal peril during her winter formal. Life truly is too short to waste any more time, so assuming they all live through this, Steve is going to tell Danny he’s one hundred percent sure he wants to be with him. Although maybe tomorrow, when the dust has settled.

Surprisingly, it’s Danny who accelerates that timescale, once everyone is safe and he responds to Steve questioning the lack of an immediate celebratory hug with, “I am so happy to see you right now, I’ll give you a hug, I’ll give you a kiss, pick a base.”

“Seriously?” Steve asks breathlessly, well aware of the crowd of traumatized teenagers and police officers all around them, but not taking his eyes off his partner.

Danny does briefly glance around the room, and looks a bit sheepish, but then shrugs and does not retract the offer.

“ _Kiss me_ ,” Steve requests roughly. He remains motionless as Danny instantly steps forward, reaching up to cup Steve’s face and drag him down enough to press their lips together. By necessity, the kiss is soft and chaste, but completely unhurried.

They probably would have been content to let it linger for quite some time, if not for Grace interrupting with an insistent, “Oh my god. I love you guys, and I’m happy you finally got a clue, but this is super embarrassing.”

As he pulls away from the kiss, Danny’s eyes are sparkling with joy and mirth and he starts laughing quietly, but when he sees the way Steve is looking at him, with total adoration and devotion, his expression shifts to the softest of smiles.

“I love you,” Steve informs him seriously, making sure he’s not holding anything back.

“I love you too,” Danny replies just as earnestly, before giving Steve a very brief kiss.

“Awwww,” Grace says, despite her previous objection.

Danny grins as he turns to pull Grace close and presses a kiss to her head.

Steve chances a quick look around the room, to find Chin, Kono and Lou all smiling brightly in their direction. Many of the SWAT officers are also sporting amused smirks. Happily, he can’t see anyone displaying a negative reaction, but that probably just means they already removed themselves from the room. Steve doesn’t really care. He knows it’s not all going to be smooth sailing, but this is a very promising start.


	3. Chapter 3

After the remarkably eventful winter formal, Steve and Danny agree to take their time when it comes to adjusting to the change in their relationship. Despite their rather dramatic and very public first kiss and acknowledgement that they’re in love with each other, they’re both a little self-conscious about the idea of further public displays of affection. Nonetheless, they do go on dates, and when nothing terrible happens the first time Steve dares to hold Danny’s hand while they’re waiting in line at the movie theater, they’re both very relieved and reassured.

At work, they remain completely professional. Well, as professional as Five-0 ever gets. They don’t touch each other any more than they always have, and not in any way that couldn’t be dismissed as platonic by a casual observer. The teasing that Steve had been expecting from the rest of the team never occurs. In fact, they don’t bring the subject up at all, having seemingly agreed among themselves to give Steve and Danny some space to nurture their new relationship without the added pressure of potentially premature congratulations.

At home, when the kids aren’t around, they spend a lot of time simply talking while cuddling on the couch, getting to know each other better than ever. Often, they end up exchanging lazy kisses for a while before it’s time for one of them to depart for the night. Occasionally, it escalates into something a bit more heated, but for the time being they always stop before too long.

They’ve been together just short of two weeks when Thanksgiving arrives. Lou and his family are headed to Chicago, but the rest of their ohana were already invited to Steve’s place as usual, and they have no intention of changing those plans just because their relationship has evolved. There are still no direct comments made by their friends, but Steve definitely notices the approving smiles aimed at the pair of them across the table; while they make no overt displays, clearly when comfortable and surrounded by friends, the way he and Danny interact with each other must have subtly changed.

Another week goes by before Danny invites Steve into his bedroom. He accepts without hesitation, but they don’t attempt anything too ambitious that first night, content to simply get their hands on each other and passionately kiss while they move together to the immense satisfaction of them both. Over the next few weeks, they gradually expand their sexual repertoire, and naturally there are a few awkward moments, but overall it’s an extremely enjoyable experience.

However, by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, they still haven’t tried actual fucking. It’s been a tough few days at work and they’re exhausted, so Steve expects that tonight they’ll just curl up and go to sleep. However, as the kids are with Rachel, and Danny and Steve aren’t getting them until 2pm on Christmas Day, Steve has high hopes for Christmas morning, when they should have plenty of uninterrupted time. At this point, he doesn’t even care which end of it he’s on, although if they have the time and energy, and Danny is willing, he’d obviously like to try both. But given that it turns out that Danny has never bottomed either, Steve is prepared to volunteer to go first, while making it clear that it wouldn’t be contingent on reciprocation. He loves Danny so much that what he wants more than anything is the chance to feel as deeply connected to him as two people can get.

But first, despite their exhaustion, Steve has to help Danny finish wrapping gifts. They’ve been staying at Steve’s house for the past few days, so Danny hasn’t had a chance to complete the task any sooner. Since the first time they had sex, they haven’t spent a night apart, which probably would’ve worried Steve with any other new romantic relationship, but six years of friendship has given them an excellent head start. They frequently alternate between their homes, but always stay at Danny’s when he has the kids so they can have their own bedrooms. Steve has secretly started clearing out his old bedroom whenever he gets a moment alone, and he intends to consult Grace about redecorating it, but isn’t planning on mentioning any of that to Danny, who he knows will freak out at the prospect of officially moving in together so soon. It’s not even really about that; Steve just wants to create the opportunity for them all to comfortably sleep under his roof sometimes.

When the wrapping is finally done, Danny clears a space in front of himself on the dining room table, lowers his head onto his folded arms, and announces, “I’m just going to take a nap right here.”

“Okay,” Steve says with a chuckle, taking a moment to run a hand across Danny’s back before getting up to put away the unused wrapping paper and other supplies, then making a couple of trips back and forth to stash the gifts under the tree. He’s just finished with the last of them when there’s a knock on the front door. Steve cracks it open cautiously and is completely shocked to find a nervous looking Kyle Johnson standing there.

“Commander McGarrett, hi,” Kyle says somewhat unsteadily. “I’m sorry, I know it’s getting late, but I saw the light on… is Detective Williams around? I would really like to talk to you both.”

Steve is too intrigued to refuse, so he yells, “Danny! We have a visitor!” then fully opens the door.

“I’m not getting up!” Danny shouts back. “Whoever it is, bring them here.”

“You heard the man,” Steve says with amusement. “Come on in.”

Kyle hesitates briefly before stepping over the threshold. Steve closes the door behind him and leads him through to the dining room, where Danny has sat up just enough to plant his elbow on the table and rest his chin on his hand. But when he realizes who their visitor is, he sits up straight. Steve gestures for Kyle to sit opposite Danny and then moves around the table to sit beside his partner. He positions his chair close enough that he can put his arm around Danny, who allows it without comment. Interestingly, and slightly disappointingly, Kyle doesn’t show any discomfort at the gesture.

Kyle clears his throat before speaking. “Commander McGarrett, Detective Williams, I want… no, I _need_ to apologize. My parents got me into therapy, and I’m so ashamed now of the things I did and said to you.” He pauses and looks down at the table for a moment, before looking back up at them with watery eyes. “There’s no excuse… but I was just so lonely after we moved here, I was having trouble making friends, so when a group finally welcomed me, I was so desperate to fit in… I let them poison my thoughts with their horrible, bigoted views. And then I got really scared, because as much as I've tried to deny it for years… I’m gay.”

Steve can’t stop himself from uttering a thoroughly surprised, “Oh.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kyle continues, swiping at the tears that are now escaping his eyes. “When I saw you that night, Detective Williams, I think a part of me was jealous that you were comfortable being out in the open like that, then I got really angry, mostly at myself, but I ended up taking it out on you. Then I couldn’t seem to stop myself, and I said those awful things to you, Commander McGarrett. I hope you can both forgive me.”

Danny looks at Steve for a long moment before returning his compassionate gaze to Kyle. “We forgive you,” he says, and Steve definitely doesn’t mind Danny speaking for him on this occasion.

Kyle breathes out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Danny smiles at Kyle. “You know, the ironic thing is, that was actually the first time I ever had been out in the open.”

“Oh shit,” Kyle says with wide eyes. “Now I feel even worse. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it was not pleasant,” Danny tells him. “But in another ironic twist, you actually did us a favor.”

Kyle regards him skeptically.

With a gesture at Steve, Danny continues, “We weren’t together then. In fact, this guy was so closeted he was in Narnia, and I wasn’t much better.” He turns to Steve with a soft smile. “But just look at us now.”

Steve is helpless to do anything other than smile in return before leaning in for a quick kiss. Then he looks back at Kyle in time to see a complicated series of expressions flit across the teenager’s face.

Kyle seems momentarily at a loss for words, but eventually he says, “I’m glad you’re happy. But I’m still very sorry for the pain I caused.”

“Thank you,” Danny replies. “How are _you_ doing?”

“I’m… slowly getting better.”

Danny smiles at the kid again. “That’s good. I know you have wonderful, supportive parents, but I’m guessing they also don’t truly understand what you’re going through. If you ever want to talk, we’re here. Actually, you know what, let me give you my number.”

“Really?” Kyle asks uncertainly. “After everything, you would do that for me?”

Danny doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Kyle gives him a tentative smile as he hands his phone over. “Thank you so much Detective Williams.”

Danny takes the phone and starts to enter his details. “I think we can drop the formalities at this point. Danny is fine.”

Steve finds his voice at last. “Put mine in there too,” he tells Danny. He aims a smile in Kyle’s direction and offers his hand across the table. “I’m Steve.”

Kyle stares at him incredulously for a moment before shaking Steve’s hand and murmuring, “Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, Kyle,” Danny says warmly as he hands the kid’s phone back.

“Thank you so much. Merry Christmas Danny, Steve.”

“Mele Kalikimaka,” Steve responds, grinning when he sees the predictable eye-roll from Danny.

After getting up to show Kyle out, Steve returns to find Danny once again slumped over the table. He smiles fondly and daringly pets Danny’s hair. “Come on sleepyhead. Bedtime.”

“I’m not moving,” Danny insists. “You’re going to have to carry me.”

“Seriously?”

Danny turns his head to smirk at Steve. “I’m sure you’ve been desperate for the opportunity, you neanderthal.”

Yeah, okay, that’s not entirely inaccurate. Steve is pretty tired himself, but he’s not going to pass this up, so he grabs Danny immediately and carefully hoists him over his shoulder. Danny is clearly beyond tired now, as he openly giggles in response. Steve is grateful they’re at Danny’s place rather than his own, so he doesn’t have any stairs to contend with.

Danny makes a sound of protest as Steve bypasses his bed and delivers him to the bathroom instead, setting him down on the counter. He picks up Danny’s toothbrush and jokingly asks, “Am I going to have to do this for you as well?”

Despite his bleary eyes, Danny smirks at him again. “If that’s what you’re in to.”

Steve just laughs and presses the toothbrush into his partner’s hand before returning to the bedroom to discard his clothes in favor of sleep shorts.

Five minutes later, after taking his own turn in the bathroom, Steve climbs into bed and snuggles up against Danny, lying face to face. “Still awake?” he asks quietly.

The response is a somewhat inconclusive, “Mmmm.”

Steve carries on regardless, “You were amazing tonight, with Kyle. I love you.”

Without opening his eyes, Danny responds sleepily, “Love you too.”

Steve can’t resist giving Danny a gentle kiss. His partner returns the pressure for a brief moment before yawning against his mouth. Steve tries not to take it personally. “Good night Danno,” he says adoringly, but Danny’s breathing indicates he’s already fallen asleep. Steve smiles as he shifts a little, pulling Danny fractionally closer.

Whatever tomorrow may bring, Steve is already happier than he’s ever been, and that’s the greatest gift of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marked as complete, as this is as far as I intended to go when I set out to write this, but it's vaguely possible I might revisit it and add additional chapters at some point in the future.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and any comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated x


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